Review of Clerks II From a Die-Hard

Look, I’m a Kevin Smith and even more so a Jason Mewes fan, so if you want a shitty review go check out Joel Siegel.

I have been waiting for this since I saw Clerks on an old VCR at a friends house, eating pizza, and smoking copious amounts of fine Portland, OR cannabis. The grainy black and white cheap-shot was genious in every sense. Movies in general have shit dialog these days.

I had also just read the 9 part series of Kevin Smith’s “Me and my Shadow” which details the very sad and happy story of his life with Jason. I have created an index here.
Now maybe this tainted me, but I decided to see it the same night it opened after reading the said material above. I wanted to see for myself (with previous exposure to friends destroying themselves over heroin) to see Jason myself.

Most people (including myself) think that Dogma was his best performance as “Jay”, and I wanted to see how he was 100% clean. Fucking A+

I enjoyed the opening of the movie, the merge to color, and the obvious choice of jobs for our 2 loser friends (Randal and Dante). But the fun really started at these words:

“The Improved Jay and Silent Bob”

Just out of rehab (Smith seems to have written some real life into this one) and on Probation, living the 12 step life (cue the Buddy Jesus shirt) our new Jay comes onscreen like a firecracker. Every scene with Jay and Bob are worth a million bucks in laughter.

Jason Lee and Ben Afleck cameos weren’t much to watch for some reason.

Trevor Fehrman (Elias), the Christian Transformer lover with a girlfriend complete with a pussy troll makes the perfect commedy when Jay and Bob are busy dealing. This kid is the funniest new character since the original Clerks. (Counting of course all the Smith movies)

Rosario Dawson (Becky) was good as well. If only there were more of her kind in the world. You can’t beat a woman who can say “ass to mouth” without blushing, ready a comic book over your shoulder, and bang you on the prep table of a fast food joint.

While I loved the movie I don’t know how they managed an R rating. If your date is turned off my foul language (no longer just confided to Jay), ass-play, donkeys and weird fat guys who fuck em, and drug dealing they are more likely to slap you than fuck you afterwards.

Clerks 4 Stars

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Tags: Jay and Silent Bob, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, View Askew, Marijuana, Ben Afleck, Donkey show